SHARE
Have you seen that new TV commercial for National Rental Car? The main character talks about how he is not a Control Freak but a Control Enthusiast. Yup, that’s me!
A few weeks ago I got together with my Mommy’s group. Sounds strange, right, since my kids are soon to be 16, 14 and 11? This is the group I joined 16 years ago when Jill was a wee babe. We still get together a few times a year, just the Moms. I’m so lucky.
This year one of the Mom’s asked ‘What is one thing you would like more of this year?’ What a question! How to answer this…hmmmm.
What I realized is that I don’t need more of anything, I need less. I need less control. Since Thanksgiving I think God has been showing me how little control I have. I keep trying to make plans. I have big ideas and always plan things out in my head and more often than not the plans are changing at the last minute. Some are small things but some are quite big. With my Dad’s illness we have to play everything by ear because we are never sure what he will be up for. We must have replanned Christmas four times and in the end my nephew got the stomach flu and we had to reschedule AGAIN on the day we’d originally planned. See? Not in control!
In a few days I am going to have knee surgery. I found out a few months ago that I’d ruptured my ACL the last time I played soccer. Talk about being out of control. I’m going to need help just getting off the couch! Even though I could have done the surgery sooner the control freak in me wanted to wait until after my busy season and after the holidays. It’s actually kind of rediculous how much advance planning I have done for this surgery. I’ve researched tips for how to set myself up for success, I made doubles of every meal I made in December and put them in the freezer for Allen to serve later, I’ve already planned and purchased everything I will need for Jill’s birthday party (her sisters will do the decorating and cake baking the day of) and I’ve already taken her birthday pictures (her birthday is mid January) and wrapped her presents. I have planned tons of projects that I can do while sitting and set them up so they will be easy to reach and complete.
Kind of ridiculous right? Why have I driven myself crazy like that? In reality I have no idea how this is going to turn out so I really need to stop visualizing so I won’t end up disappointed or worried or bonkers.
The trendy thing right now is to choose a word or phrase at the beginning of the year and let that be your mantra. Let it be your guide. This year my phrase is going to be Let it Go. (I know you are all singing the song right now. I apologize.) I like to picture myself releasing the bear hug I have on everything and doing the Nestea plunge. (I picked that visual because that always looked fun to me!) That doesn’t mean that I am going to stop planning for the future, that would be silly and so against my nature that I’d be setting myself up for failure to even think it! What I really want to do is be better about going with the flow. Seizing the opportunity when life throws me a curve ball instead of stressing myself out recalculating and replanning. I want to see the beauty in spontaneity and embrace it’s excitement. Who knows what new things will come into my life when I stop looking so far into the future.
If you see me walking around this year in a tense fog or hugging myself too tightly feel free to yell Let It Go! It will be nice to have you all keeping me honest.
(Posts are going to be light this month because…I’m letting it go!)